Just write. Show up. Daily if you can. That’s the only way to be a writer.
“Start before you’re ready. Good things happen when we start before we’re ready.” — Steven Pressfield
Five years ago I attended an Internet Marketing Workshop. I know what the internet is, so as what marketing is. I thought I could grasp easily the concept of internet marketing. I realized it was further from the truth.
Being someone with abysmally low self-worth, I expect I could earn online. I dreaded tremendous effort. I just want to earn money while being anonymous at the same time.
I’m one of the best targets for the deceit of being wealthy like in lotto. Zero effort riches. I just learned those lotto jackpots brought unfortunate consequences to many. For some, they just go back to life before they’ve won the winning number combinations. Much worse for some — they lost their family and sanity. I don’t want to be in a get-rich-quick craze anymore.
The workshop is legitimate by the way. I’m just wrong in my first impressions that this must be a quick-fix to my emotional and financial woes.
With the easy-money mentality, I started to create lots of blogs without telling anyone. Not even my close friends and family. I’m anonymous because I’m not sure if this will work, so if I messed up, my most precious ego would not hurt that much. I tried to earn through Google AdSense from those blogs. After five years, from this very moment that I’m typing these words, the fruits of my labor had $46.80 value. I could not withdraw the amount because the threshold is at least $100.
I felt I wasted a lot of time and effort for nothing.
Later, I realized that the workshop was not about easy money. It is just me who selfishly insist.
Internet marketing is a lifelong learning.
(Note: My mentor, Jomar Hilario held that Internet Marketing Workshop. He is one of the most passionate internet marketing teachers that I could think of.)
What If I Don’t Earn Anything as a Writer?
These might seem petty failures to you, but it already means a lot to me. I used to think mediocrity and dissatisfaction are my destiny. I used to believe I would always be the victim of the unfairness of life.
Today, I’m thankful to God for giving me the keys to freedom.
I was in slow progress. Still. It’s a forward motion to a fulfilling life.
What-if questions might stop you or direct you depending on how you respond. Answering the “what if I don’t earn enough as a writer?” question cannot be simply ignored. It’s intimidating. It’s indispensable. It’s worth answering. Life-changing when answered with conviction.
Vincent Van Gough is a painter who only sold his masterpieces after he died. What is the force that lets him continue painting until he dies without any revenue? I think it’s the love of the art. The intrinsic value for him is enough to continue. There are rumors about his mental health, though. Okay, forget that mental issue, as this was the case for everyone. But, I think Van Gough is a great example of a genuine artist.
Of course, I don’t want to lose my sanity, neither to earn as an artist after I died.
I do want to earn as a writer someday. Hopefully, before I die. But, what if I don’t? Would I still write? I could not answer that for now. It needs some time to prove my commitment.
Here I Am Again Abandoning My Blog
I just shifted from another blog. That was just one of the many blogs that I started then abandoned. Here I am again writing another blog. I would not make any more promises except that I would just write (or type) just for the love of it.
Again, just write.
I’m not ignoring my readers (future readers). They’re actually part of this ongoing epiphany of mine. I just don’t want to hurt the world for being lazy in finding my genuine self.
We are all connected. If you don’t give your gifts to the world, then you unintentionally (or intentionally) hurt me and the world. And I don’t want to do that. I would hurt myself as well by regrets.
My inner wounds are deep. If writing is my medication, then this first blog post is my first-aid treatment.
Let the healing begin!
In this stage of my maturity, please bear with my inconsistencies and lack of commitment for now.
I got nothing to show off. But for now, the internal benefits of writing is far more important to me. All external success are prerequisites of internal achievements.
We know people who play guitar for the love of it. Same with basketball. Same with theater acting. Then why not writing? External success is overrated. Writing for applause will destroy the craft.
Just write for the love of it. And it will love you back.